May 2010
3 posts
Even though I live in LA now...
I will always be able to comment on situations from a NYer’s point of view. Hence, my tumblr blog is being resurrected and the name stays.
November 2009
1 post
All Hallow's Eve
Girl 1: There was one cute guy... but he was too drunk to talk to.
Girl 2: That's the problem with Halloween.
October 2009
7 posts
“I am fucking in love.”
– My p.i.c…. and I am fucking happy for her :)
“Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.”
– H.L. Mencken
“I know you’re just being rude because you’re angry about your acne...”
– Things I would say if I was a true bad ass
“I’m sorry you feel the need to overcompensate for your gender, but…”
– Things I would say if I was a true bad ass
DC
Can I have that?
Look in the mirror while you say that, and you'll have the answer.
Improv
Wow, is he a robot?
No, he's just strong.
“I wouldn’t want a boy to think I was pretty unless he was the sort of boy...”
– Everything Is Illuminated
September 2009
16 posts
“You know you have good taste when the gays approve.”
– Me me me
“I can’t even watch ‘The Office.’ It’s not funny to me,...”
– Spoken by a friend who unknowingly re-validated my choice of a freelance lifestyle.
Office Kitchen Conversations
Guy 1: That's what I'm going to raise my kids on. Nothing but Fun Dip.
Guy 2: I'd throw in a little Jolt.
Guy 3: I was thinking more like Amp.
Guy 1: There's nothing like a little Crystal Meth/Mountain Dew combination.
“The most depressing words in my life are ‘Chapter One…’”
– Spoken by a fellow audiobook narrator, in anticipation of spending the next 4 days locked in a studio.
Self-serving & indulgent, but this IS my blog.
Dude at bar: "Are you single?"
Me: "Yes..."
Dude: "Wow, either you're lying, or somebody fucked up."
Me: "Somebody fucked up."
“It was like, crack. Set to music.”
– Shannon, after I sent her the Ke$ha single Tik Tok.
Desk
After my death, my desk,
which is now so cluttered,
will be bare wood, simple and shining,
as I wanted it to be in my life,
as I wanted my life to be.
-Harvey Shapiro
GChatter1: i dreamt i was planning my bachelorette party, then i got married to my macbook. then there was a lot of email and twittering and i think that was supposed to be the consummation of our relationship.
GChatter2: hahahahHAHAHHahAhAHAhahAHa ahahah WHAT omg
GChatter1: i know. a sure sign for a lifestyle change.
“Beauty has a place, of course- between the pages of a book, in pictures on the...”
– Robert Girardi
Someday
ME: “I want that.”
me: “What, the dog?”
ME: “No, their relationship.”
me: “Ooo. Yeah, me too.”
Only in the Hamptons....
“Excuse me, can we play with your dog? We have one just like it.”
“I don’t think the dog would like that. He only likes when I throw the ball.”
“That’s what I meant… we could throw the ball for him.”
“No. He wouldn’t like that.”
Oh And Just An FYI...
Insulting the talent is NOT a good way to start off working together. I’m talking to you, Mr. Engineer.
“You should never, ever fall in love with a man who loves God. He will never love...”
– Spoken with a laugh
“I try to keep this to myself, but I have a very low opinion of men. We’re...”
– Claire, speaking some wine-invoked inner truth
August 2009
15 posts
The Sheets of Sin...
Are in the dryer, tho their temperature will never reach the triple digits we sparked when we rolled upon them last night.
Only in LA...
Will people INSIST on driving you home, even though you live a block and a half away. I’ve hurdled longer distances in New York.
Inappropriate Exchange of the Evening:
“I really feel like masturbating right now.”
“Thats not really a party activity…”
“It is if you’re on Skype!”
“I love Patron. I’m like, this water tastes so good!”
– Mysterious E
“I want you to eat my taco.”
– BabyD, being gross during Taco night. Don’t worry, we love it.
A high noon hike at Runyon...
may not have been in my best interest today. Exhausted times ten.
“I was definitely drunk. Had no problem driving home, but apparently thought I...”
– Anonymous, who is clearly on the path to become America’s newest role model.
“Somebody needs to press mute on my inner monologue. It’s getting me in too...”
“Well then you’ll go bad with all the other good girls”
– Guy
“Ex-sex… As in Deja vous? Or Deja do?”
“I love it when you say no in the tone that means yes.”
– Guy
“And I was like, this is Al-Anon! Not Oprah’s Book Club.”
– Overheard in LA
“Laughter is the best medicine. Laughter, and Bacardi”
– Candace’s solution for our bummer days. It’s working so far :)
Spotted trailing behind an airplane over the...
Reggie Miller Stop Pursuing Married Women.
“That’s my greatest fear. Getting married in Vegas while black out drunk.”
– Caci, driving me around tonite in the CT rain
July 2009
15 posts
“And then you guys can live mostly happily ever after, which is all anyone can...”
– My p.i.c., who has great thoughts on love and life via im.
hamburger pillows. from amy. →
the shitty thing about new york...
is that everyone eventually moves away. another friend has vowed to bite the dust. bleh.
“I can’t believe that you just said ‘drunk-twittered’ and it...”
– Jillian, at Stonebridge.
““I don’t understand why people are scared of me. I’m so...”
“It was a dry concert, but my tits were like a minibar.”
– Kristen, tonite at the Frying Pan.
